Online dating used to be seen as taboo.
But, nowadays, telling someone that you met your sweetie or your spouse on a dating app doesn’t feel like such a big deal.
Dating App Pros + Cons
Everyone seems to have Tinder and Bumble on their phones, and it’s not just for college students who don’t want to be alone on Saturday night. Today, plenty of adults use these apps to find casual flings or pursue serious relationships.
Sure, dating apps are convenient. But, sometimes, it seems like these apps can make the modern dating scene even more complicated.
Are you thinking about downloading a few dating apps and trying your luck? Wondering whether or not you’ll find love? Or are you already familiar with the drill?
Here’s a breakdown of the pros and cons of dating apps.
Pro: Easy for Introverts
Meeting people in social settings can be tough for introverts. But when you’re using a dating app, you don’t have to come up with an awkward pickup line on the spot. You won’t waste time eyeing someone up and hoping you’ll get a chance to talk to them. And if you’re not feeling the convo on an app, you don’t have to come up with an excuse to leave. You can simply say goodbye and move on.
You have the opportunity to connect with plenty of people without forcing yourself to go to a party or a crowded bar full of strangers. For introverts, the idea of finding a partner from the comfort of your own home can seem like a dream come true.
Con: Ghosting
Let’s face it, the “ghosting” phenomenon didn’t exist for previous generations. When you meet someone on an app, they might not feel like they have an obligation to let you know that they’re not interested in talking to you anymore. Instead of being honest about their intentions, it’s not uncommon for people to simply cut things off with no explanation and disappear. And you’re left wondering what on earth went wrong.
Why does ghosting seem to come without warning? One reason is that when you’re chatting with someone over an app, you can’t read their body language to get an idea of how they really feel—but so much of human communication is nonverbal. Therefore, it feels like their disinterest comes out of the blue.
Pro: Cut to the Chase
When you meet someone on a dating app, you might feel more comfortable being open about exactly what you’re looking for from the start. In person, it’s easy to feel pressured into saying what your date wants you to hear. You might worry about their reaction too much to be honest. But when you’re using an app, you may feel like you can be a little bolder. After all, what do you have to lose?
If the person isn’t picking up what you’re putting down, meeting someone new can be as simple as swiping right. You can be frank with people and let them know that the ball is in their court, rather than getting attached, dragging things out, and then disappointing each other when you realize that your expectations don’t match up.
Con: Catfishing
Another problem that your parents’ generation didn’t have to deal with: Catfishing! When you meet someone on an app, you never know if they are who they say they are. Do they look like their picture? Do they actually like the hobbies they talk about in their bio? Or will you be sorely disappointed when you two finally meet in person?
Talking to someone on an app and building up their image in your mind can leave you feeling crushed if they’re different in person. No one wants to deal with the shocking reality that their dream partner isn’t so great after all.
Wondering how to navigate the world of dating apps without getting your heart broken? Therapy can help you figure it out.
Contact me today to find out more about how my approach to relationship and dating therapy can help. I am San Francisco’s resident relationship therapist helping successful couples and singles create the love and life that they want!