Is Your Love Life Stalling On The Tracks?
Are you having trouble finding someone special to connect with in your life? Do you:
Spend hours on dating apps, swiping through endless possibilities of what could be?
Dive head first into your career or hobbies because the dating scene seems so hopeless?
Have trouble connecting with the person across the table from you on dates?
Find it hard to imagine yourself in a relationship where you feel happy and valued?
Dating In San Francisco Can Be A Challenging Experience For Anyone
Most of us are so busy trying to pay bills, meet deadlines, and function within the taxing atmosphere of the corporate world, it can be hard to set aside time for pursuing relationships.
Even when we meet someone new, painful past experiences that shape our feelings, thoughts, and behaviors often sabotage things, which is just one area where dating therapy can be so helpful.
At the same time, maybe you’re waiting for someone special or the “right one” who checks off all the boxes—someone you really click with. Or perhaps you’re looking for a partner who will love you unconditionally and want to start a family and life together.
Trying to connect with another human being can feel like a foreign, even frightening experience. However, I want to assure you that there is someone out there for you, and dating therapy can help give you the best chances of success and happiness when you find them.
Everyone Needs Love, Compassion, And Excitement
All of us long for happiness, and looking for love is one of the most human ways that we acquire it.
However, forming healthy relationships requires that it start from within by overcoming our own diverse issues and learning to love ourselves. Unfortunately without the support of a therapist, we tend to lean on our partners to help address past relationship wounding, which can create a tremendous amount of relational stress.
Whether you’re in a relationship or are looking for love, feeling misunderstood and grappling with the existential realities of loneliness are issues we all struggle with. This is especially true within contemporary culture and the landscape of dating. While technology provides us with more opportunities to find love and connect with others, it often leaves us feeling more isolated than ever.
Counseling And Coaching Help Where Technology And Online Dating Apps Fall Short
Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to...find all the barriers to love you have [unwittingly] built against it. Rumi
According to one report, up to 81 percent of people using the dating app Hinge reported that they have never been successful in establishing a long-term relationship.
An obsession with social media, pop culture, and unrealistic standards for beauty creates an unhealthy focus on physical appearance. Then there’s the crushing loneliness of living in a world where the demands of life take precedence over love.
Frustration, hopelessness, and longing are all common emotions we experience when faced with obstacles to connection, but you don’t have to let those feelings dictate your future. Establishing a meaningful connection with someone is still possible despite the disconnected realities we face today.
Dating counseling gives you the opportunity to share your questions, worries, and goals while gaining insight into your own behaviors and dynamics in relationships. In my approach to dating therapy, I emphasize the deeper, psychological factors—the blocks to love and relationships—that often interfere with successful dating, but I also try to offer some elements of coaching, like thinking logistically and strategically as well.
Dating Therapy Is Also About Learning How To Love Yourself
The truth is that we’re complex beings who are wired to look for love and connect with others. Sometimes, however, that isn’t so easy. Obstacles like trauma, neglect, painful breakups, the city we live in, and personal mental health issues can complicate matters. That’s where my approach to dating therapy combined with simple coaching strategies can be very useful.
My Approach To Online Dating Therapy And Coaching
Working exclusively with a dating coach offers practical tips, strategies, and advice for taking care of immediate challenges, such as how to be more assertive or conversational on dates. It frequently involves skills-building, problem-solving, role-playing, and behavior modeling.
My dating therapy approach helps us to dig deeper below the surface and address the core issues causing those problems in the first place. With dating counseling, we can explore your past relationships in a way that allows you to process, understand, and learn from your romantic history.
I also think that people's assumptions about dating and relationships, are often strongly influenced by social myths and rules and don't set people up for the best success. We can look at your approach, assumptions, and goals and see if there are any things that are out of alignment with best practices for success.
Therapy also focuses on cultivating self-compassion, self-love, and a deeper understanding of yourself so you don’t necessarily need to seek companionship in order to be happy.
After all, though it may seem cliché, I think it's largely true—that happiness is an inside job. It’s important to learn how to have a good relationship with the different parts of yourself before you can be a good partner to another, or expect to find a good partner to love you the way you want to be loved.
According to the wise mystic poet Rumi, “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”
What Can You Expect From Dating Therapy?
I’ve adopted a humanistic philosophy that’s based in attachment theory and neuroscience-oriented approaches. Using these methods, we’ll:
First ease into addressing your concerns, striving to uncover old self-perceptions that may be working against your ability to trust and express yourself in relationships.
Explore your thoughts and feelings, your family dynamics, and your history of forming connections with others.
Use skills-building exercises, mental rehearsals, and a variety of other experiential techniques to help you navigate current and future challenges.
Work on identifying your needs, forming healthier habits, and changing your overall perspective on yourself and your approach to dating.
Discussing your previous relationships, the types of connections you typically make, and your relationship experiences will enable us to better understand how you enter relationships, function within them, and what we can do to improve your approach in the future. And by understanding your needs and desires, we’ll be able to set new templates for what healthy relationships can look like in your life.
Perhaps You Still Have Questions About Dating Therapy…
Is the investment in dating counseling going to be worth it?
As human beings, we are extremely social creatures and when we can’t make healthy connections, it can negatively impact other aspects of our lives, including careers, quality of life, and our personal health. However, the valuable knowledge and skills you can gain through counseling will pay off long after our relationship has concluded.
How is dating therapy going to help me find love?
Counseling is a very valuable investment that teaches you about yourself and how you got “wired” or “programmed” regarding relationships. When you learn about the old code or program that got laid down in your mind, you then have the power to change things. Changing the old programming will help you remove blocks to dating and finding love.
What’s the difference between dating coaching and dating counseling?
A dating coach and dating therapist often have some similar goals but different priorities and approaches, and it’s important to make the distinction. A lot of coaching is more focused on dating tips, social skills, and behaviors that are meant to boost confidence and help you land dates more successfully.
While we could say that coaching is a more superficial, results-oriented approach that tends not to address deeper wounds and internal conflicts that may be having an influence on your dating relationships, it still has a lot of value.
Dating therapy, on the other hand, is more focused on growth, insight and transformation, clarifying and replacing old beliefs and strategies, and helping you become a happier version of you. And THAT will lead you to a better approach to dating and relationships.
Open Yourself Up To Love
Our need for love is a vital human trait. So, if you’re single, feeling lonely, and have anxiety about jumping back into the dating game, my combined approach to therapy and coaching can help you get back out there. When you’re ready, please reach out to me via my contact form for your free, 20-minute consultation; you can also reach me at (415) 797-8297.
Providing online dating coaching and therapy services for individuals seeking to improve their relationships in the San Francisco Bay area and the greater California area.
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