Do You Worry About The Future Of Your Relationship?

Are you questioning if you’re in a healthy relationship or marriage? Do you constantly:

• feel like you’re not being heard, acknowledged, or valued by your partner? 

• have trouble communicating without conversations breaking down into arguments? 

• worry that your emotional and physical connection with each other is fading?

Perhaps, like many of us, the hassle and stress of work and modern life are spilling over into your romantic life, eroding the passion and connection you once had. 

Or maybe you’re looking to couples therapy to help you do some preventative maintenance—or even recharge the intimacy in your marriage or relationship.  

Relationship Issues Usually Don’t Happen Spontaneously

They often arise slowly as a subtle rift that develops over time, leading to disappointment or dissatisfaction later on. For instance, you may feel unappreciated by your partner or insecure about where your relationship stands. 

It may seem as if no matter what you do, you just can’t seem to “get it right.” You likely feel that if you could just get your partner to talk to you, listen, or change their behavior, things would get better.

If you find yourself in an unhappy relationship that’s accompanied by doubt, disconnectedness, or persistent arguments, couples counseling can offer you unbiased support and guidance. With my help and your commitment to change, I believe you have the power to repair and restore your connection.

All Relationships Require Work

Most couples experience struggles within their relationship at some point. In fact, conflict can be a sign of love and demonstrate a desire to be in a better place. But conflict can also stem from an inability to effectively respond to and communicate with your partner.

The more time you spend together, the greater the chance you’ll encounter obstacles in the road. For instance: 

• You may want to spend more time together while your partner wants more space.

• One or both of you may not feel secure enough admitting vulnerability.

• You may feel insufficient, as if nothing you do is right or appreciated.

• Like many couples, you may have difficulty understanding each other’s needs. 

• Or, your relationship may have gradually lost the comfort it once provided.

Many Couples Easily Get Caught In A Negative Cycle

The resulting feelings of insecurity and anxiety can cause habituated reactions that often create more stress, leading to unhelpful patterns of behavior that only perpetuate the situation. Some individuals withdraw, whereas others may push harder for acceptance and connection, but neither one of these actions is very beneficial. 

Often, negative cycles of behavior are indicative of underlying issues. These hidden obstacles typically result in reactionary responses rather than thoughtful and empathetic responses that are aligned with the needs and desires of your partner.

However, through my evidence-based approach to couples counseling, you can identify the root of your relationship’s distress and tackle the problem at its source. You can learn why you react the way you do and discover more productive ways of communicating and relating to your partner. 

Couples Therapy Can Help Your Relationship Flourish

Although falling in love is a beautiful experience, great relationships don’t usually just happen on their own. Really great relationships require work and a commitment to learn how you and your partner best function together. That’s what couples therapy and marriage counseling are all about.

My job as a couples therapist is to give you a safe, impartial space where both you and your partner can work as a team to heal and recharge your relationship or marriage. At the same time, we can work together to identify and heal the source of any wounding you may have experienced in the past that continues to shape your relationship now.  

What Can You Experience In My Couples Therapy Sessions?

When you arrive, you’ll be welcomed by a warm, comfortable atmosphere designed to foster an environment of equality, empathy, and understanding while we explore the different aspects of your relationship. Our first few counseling sessions will be vital in helping me to understand your unique circumstances. 

Once we have an idea of what’s really going on beneath the surface of things, we can formulate a plan to help you approach your goals. You can expect us to explore how you communicate, form attachments, have learned to relate to each other, and we’ll identify the specific issues you’re experiencing. 

Some couples may find they’re experiencing troubles in the bedroom that are preventing them from a healthy and satisfying sex life together. But there are often deeper issues of intimacy, emotional connection, or safety within the relationship that may need to be gently explored in counseling so that you can get to a better place together. 

Discussing these topics may feel daunting at first. However, with time and effort, couples counseling can help you reconnect with your partner and uncover new dimensions of physical communication and connectedness within your relationship.

Who Can Benefit From Couples Counseling?  

Practically anyone in a relationship can benefit from couples therapy:

• If you’re a couple planning your next stage of life together, premarital counseling can help you prepare for the future and ensure you’re equipped for the challenges ahead. 

• If you feel your relationship is in a make-or-break stage, working with a couples counselor can provide you with a safe, supportive environment that allows you to address issues productively. 

• If you’re in a later stage of life, marriage counseling can help you cope with the changes and challenges that accompany an established, evolving romance.

What Kind Of Approach Do I Use In Couples Therapy?

I’ve adopted an approach to helping couples improve their connection that doesn’t add any unnecessary stress to their situation. My work utilizes a balance of practical techniques, skills, and tools supported largely by:

• Stan Tatkin’s Psychobiological Approach To Couples Therapy (PACT) 

• Sue Johnson’s EFT couples therapy and attachment theory

Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy and PACT are both highly respected and utilized approaches, and EFT is backed by over 30 years of research. Combined with my support, I believe these tools can help address deeper issues driving the problems and disconnection in your relationship. 

Enjoying A Happier, Healthier Relationship Is Possible

Using sufficient research-backed evidence, my own experiences in relationship counseling, and a constantly evolving approach, I’m positive I can help you achieve your goals. 

Counseling is not only a chance to heal your relationship, but it provides you with an opportunity to invest in yourself, facilitating personal growth and insight you’ll be able to take into other relationships as well.

It’s Natural To Have Questions Or Concerns About Couples Therapy…

Is the cost of couples therapy worth it?

Working with a couples therapist or marriage counselor is a short-term investment in your relationship, happiness, and overall well-being that can produce lasting results. I believe you’re extremely fortunate to be in a situation where there’s the desire to improve it. 

In our sessions, you will learn skills to become a more compassionate, understanding, and thoughtful partner while having a chance to engage in your own personal growth as well.

What if I don’t have the time for marital counseling?

The truth is, right now you are likely wasting valuable time and energy simply rehashing old arguments and issues without making any progress. Marriage counseling can help facilitate the often difficult conversations needed in order to strengthen your relationship and enjoy a greater sense of ease in your day-to-day life. 

By dedicating just a little bit of your time, you can stop the futile cycle of anger and frustration. That, in turn, will save you time, money, and even potential heartache down the road.  

Does counseling actually work—EFT couples therapy in particular?

We have a lot of experience over the past four decades that tells us therapy truly can help couples heal and restore their relationship—specifically, with EFT couples counseling, research shows your chances are high.

A large part of the success, however, is up to you and how willing you are to take the right steps towards growth. Even in the worst-case scenario, couples therapy provides you with a space that will allow personal growth and improvement in how you approach future relationships and how you find satisfaction in your own life.

Create The Love You Want

Regardless of what stage your relationship is in, I’m here to help you and your partner foster your love and deepen your connection. If you’re still wondering if couples counseling is right for you, take my relationship quiz or schedule a free, 30-minute phone consultation with me by calling 415-797-8297.

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