It seems like everyone is giving online dating a shot these days.
The idea of meeting that special someone on the Internet used to be a little taboo. But now, couples will happily own up to connecting through Tinder or OkCupid without hesitation.
Dealing with Dating Anxiety
Even though online dating is much more popular than it used to be, perhaps the thought of downloading an app and swiping through profiles until you “click” with someone still seem a little intimidating to you. Or maybe you’ve been using dating sites and apps for a while, but you still feel anxious about reaching out to potential partners and meeting someone offline for the first time. (See my previous posts on tips for dealing with dating anxiety here and understanding social anxiety here.)
Whatever it is that makes you nervous, here’s how to deal with the anxieties connected to online dating.
Practice Mindful Self-Compassion
One of the best aspects of online dating? Expanding your dating pool means that you have more prospects. More prospects usually mean more dates!
However, more dates likely also mean more awkward conversations, more stressing over texts, more hopes for second dates that never materialize, and more rejections. And all of that can lead to a lot of self-doubt and anxiety.
Mindful self-compassion means treating yourself the way you would a close friend when they’re feeling down. Instead of beating yourself up, show yourself some love when you’re discouraged after a date. After all, if your friend went on a date that went wrong, would you berate them? Nope!
Dealing with rejection during online dating can be tough, but it doesn’t have to stop you from meeting the right person.
Take Breaks
When you’re meeting people through an app on your phone, it’s all too easy to start swiping away without really thinking about it. Before you know it, an hour or two has passed, you haven’t connected with anyone you’re really into, and you’re feeling a bit dejected.
If you find yourself getting sucked into online dating sites and apps, wasting time, and getting frustrated with the results, it’s more than okay to take a break from it every once in a while.
Of course, this doesn’t mean you have to delete your accounts forever. But spending time every day trying to meet “the one” will wear you down. So, it’s alright if you recognize that you need to take a breather.
Don’t Waste Time Stressing Over Texts
Let’s face it—even though most of us send at least a few texts every day, getting the real meaning of your message across through a text can be tricky. And when you’re meeting people online, your first introductions will be via texts.
Naturally, this can be a bit scary, especially at first. We often have a tendency to overthink texts when we’re trying to impress someone!
To combat this problem, try giving yourself a time limit on responding to texts. For example, make a conscious choice to spend no more than a couple minutes crafting a response to a message. You’ll save yourself a lot of time and hassle by doing this. Plus, you’ll probably sound a lot more like yourself in your texts.
Talk to a Therapist
Some people assume that only couples can benefit from relationship therapy. But single people can also talk to a therapist about concerns related to their love lives.
If you’ve been struggling to navigate the world of online dating, but you’d like to move past your anxiety, discussing the roadblocks you’ve faced with an unbiased third party can help you figure out if it’s really right for you. Perhaps a little guidance is all you need to make online dating work for you! Find out more about how my approach to relationship and dating therapy can help.